7.27.2004
Wow, i really forgot about this thing didn't I? Oh well. I'm bored so I'll write in it. So...
Still dating Steve..  It's wierd that its so hard to write in here. Haha. It feels cold or something. That sounds kind of gay. It just feels.. like it isnt mine anymore. Im totally different than last time I wrote. Umm... I don't know what else to write. I will leave you with these inspiring lyrics.

Pussy evrywurr
Weed in the urr
I'm in my underwurr
My under the underwurr.
Got liquor evrywurr
Condoms over durr
I'm in my underwurr
My under the underwurr.

Nicky at 12:32 PM

4.24.2004
NEGLECT! WOO! I'm 15 now.


xanga is the new trend
Nicky at 10:53 PM

3.26.2004
...Neglected blog. *pat pat* That's ok though.
Nicky at 8:34 PM

1.15.2004
Dressed in
Neon Rainbows
Bouncing Singing Dancing
You are not yourself
Lying Shifting Crying
Violent Insecure
Eyes are

My modified diamond poem. Hehe.
Nicky at 3:10 PM

1.10.2004
Alright, I decided to write about stuff. I have a topic all picked out and everything. It's called my best friend and my life right now.

My best friend is Lindsay. I've known her since 4th grade, when I moved here from Georgia. She's was always there for me, and I could tell her anything. She made me alot of who I am today. We used to do everything together, all the time. But lately I feel like I'm neglecting her. It's hard to make time to hang out with everyone, especially when you hardly ever see some of them, and since she goes to stonewall, I almost never get in contact with her. I feel like I've lost touch with her, and even like I can't tell her everything anymore. It doesn't have anything to do with her personality, she's still the same Lindsay I've always known. But it's just different. I'm changing alot, I definetly know that. I feel more outgoing, and happier than I used to be. I went through a phase like, two months ago maybe, in october and then a couple months before that when I really thought I was depressed. I was constantly upset and I felt like everything around me was weighing me down, and I wasn't doing that great in school or with my other responsibilities. I was into alot of darker music and lyrics and stuff, cause they made me feel better I guess. I mean, they were like, about suicide and stuff. I didn't talk to Linds hardly at all then though, and I still feel like i can't talk to her about some things because I don't want to weigh her down with my problems. I think that's the reason. If I talked to her about this in real life, I just wouldn't be able to talk I think. I'd just sit there and look around at stuff and sigh. I'm horrible at dealing with stress. I think it's time for a sleepover. I really miss her, and basically the last two times I've seen her there have been mounds of people around, and I am bad at handling that kind of thing because I want to hang out with everyone, but it's hard to do that and also, they've been shows so it's too loud to talk. And Steve and Nick have been there both times, which means I have even more pressure on me, since it's an uncomfortable situation. I've gotten over the whole liking both of them thing, and it's settled down pretty well I think, but it's still kind of wierd. Also, when Steve is there I kind of feel obligated to have him around because he does this face when I ignore him for a little bit, or he acts like an ass. Those feelings are only temporary though, I still like him alot and he's the coolest guy I know, besides the little personality flaws he has. But that's to be expected, he's only human. I guess I'm done, I'm a l ittle confused at how I write this because I've hit writer's block and I reread it and it's confusing. Oh well. I'm just glad Linds hasn't totally ditched me and that I'm not sad anymore, and that I have lots of people who care for me and that I'm REALLY FUCKING HAPPY ALMOST ALL THE TIMES and Linds I'm sorry I said that word and I love you like nothing else.
Nicky at 1:36 PM

Hey, double you tea eff? The writing space is all little. It annoys me.
Nicky at 1:02 PM

1.05.2004
I luff Steve. And we're gonna get married and have 16 kids or 20 kids. And one is gonna be named Aveda. And one's gonna be Tristian. And no, Kelly, we didn't bang behind the chinn center or at the movies.
Nicky at 4:12 PM

I just realised that I sounded all whiney in like all those entries... And people aren't supposed to read this and they do... I just found this out. Goddamnit. They're all gonna think I'm stupid. MKJrghdfhskrtjhwoirtj. Try pronouncing that one bitches. Oh well. I'm embarassed. That sucks. And I must be really whiney, I never noticed that before. Haha. We had vacation, blah blah blah, and now we go to school again and that sucks but at least I get to see my friends who i neglected over break. That was a fun break, two whole weeks. Yum. My favorite christmas gift was my gumball machine that has small pieces of gum for 25 cents and it only works sometimes. Like never. I like it, cause it's all like a huge luck thing. It's awesome.
Nicky at 3:39 PM

12.18.2003
Mushuuuuuu!
Nicky at 5:47 PM

IamJcn06: so you guys are going out now
nixxi the posEur: what?
nixxi the posEur: i dont know
IamJcn06: dont fucking lie either
nixxi the posEur: i dont know
nixxi the posEur: he didnt like ask me out or whatever so i guess not
IamJcn06: let me ask you something
nixxi the posEur: mmkay
IamJcn06: do you think its right to get involved with a guy who just broke up with his gf of 9 months who loves him more than anything
IamJcn06: and is trying to work things out with him
IamJcn06: and not even wait till things cool down between us?
IamJcn06: just for your own selfish needs
nixxi the posEur: it's not my fault that i like him and he likes me maybe
nixxi the posEur: jesus christ jessie
IamJcn06: bitch...you cant even wait till things cool down
IamJcn06: no its gotta be right away
nixxi the posEur: how am i supposed to know when they cool down, he doesnt talk about it to me
IamJcn06: start kissing him and everything the day we break up..i would not get involved with some guy if he had an ex like me..i dont see how its worth it
nixxi the posEur: i didn't start kissing him and everything the day you broke up
nixxi the posEur: and what do you mean you dont see how it's worth it
IamJcn06: shell end up hating me and all...
IamJcn06: i wouldnt risk that just for a guy
IamJcn06: but whatever
nixxi the posEur: it doesnt matter that much to me if you hate me, if you do it's for stupid reasons. steve and i arent having an affair, you guys broke up, and it's been a while
IamJcn06: not really
IamJcn06: after 9 months
IamJcn06: and everyone seems to agree with me anyway
nixxi the posEur: who is everyone and what are you agreeing on
IamJcn06: people, they think you are a slut and he is the biggest jerk
nixxi the posEur: i really don't see how i am a slut, but if that's how they feel then okay, because i know that i'm not.
IamJcn06: riiight
nixxi the posEur: what do you mean "right"?
IamJcn06: *sigh*
nixxi the posEur: why don't you explain to me how this makes me a slut, i'm dying to know.
IamJcn06: umm moving on from nick so quickly to this guy who JUST broke up with his gf
IamJcn06: and not caring
nixxi the posEur: i do care, and i didn't move on from nick so quickly.
nixxi the posEur: he broke up with you at least a month ago
IamJcn06: oh a month...
IamJcn06: ok
nixxi the posEur: my opinion of a slut is someone who fucks anything with legs whenever she can get some, but i guess thats just me then.

YAAAAAY! Hahahaha. PSYCHOBITCHING! WOOO!
Nicky at 3:54 PM

12.15.2003
skankininatuBa (10:38:32 PM): uncoolness nicky
skankininatuBa (10:38:37 PM): i was reading nicks xanga
nixxi the posEur (10:38:38 PM): ?
skankininatuBa (10:38:40 PM): you would kiss him?
nixxi the posEur (10:38:49 PM): what?
skankininatuBa (10:38:53 PM): thats what you said
nixxi the posEur (10:38:56 PM): when
skankininatuBa (10:39:12 PM): you signed his thing that asked a whole bunch of questions
nixxi the posEur (10:39:28 PM): ...
nixxi the posEur (10:39:33 PM): i dont remember
skankininatuBa (10:39:34 PM): like i said...just come clean with me nicky
nixxi the posEur (10:39:38 PM): I DONT REMEMBER
skankininatuBa (10:39:58 PM): one second..let me refresh your memory
nixxi the posEur (10:40:08 PM): mmk
skankininatuBa (10:40:31 PM): http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=emosucks_skarocks&tab=weblogs&uid=48646013
skankininatuBa (10:41:54 PM): remember now?
skankininatuBa (10:42:52 PM): are you dead?
nixxi the posEur (10:43:26 PM): im slowwww
nixxi the posEur (10:43:28 PM): waiting
skankininatuBa (10:43:49 PM): well if you dont remember the questions looked like this
skankininatuBa (10:43:51 PM): 01] When/How did we meet ?
02] Have we ever met in person & have we hung out ?
03] What was your 1st impression of me ?
04] Have we ever talked on the phone ?
05] Have you ever seen me cry?
06] Have you ever seen me dance ?
07] Have you ever seen me drunk/high ?
08] If you can spend a day with me, what would we do ?
09] Have we ever gotten in a fight ?
10] If you could give me a gift, what would it be ?
11] Would you hug me ?
12] Would you kiss me ?
13] What major thing do we have in common ?
14] What is my best feature ?
15] Have you ever liked me ?
16] Have you ever made me laugh/have i ever made you laugh ?
17] Describe me using four or less words:

nixxi the posEur (10:44:09 PM): yeah
nixxi the posEur (10:44:11 PM): okay
skankininatuBa (10:44:19 PM): and you said you would kiss him
skankininatuBa (10:44:24 PM): sorry for waking you for this
nixxi the posEur (10:44:24 PM): i didnt
skankininatuBa (10:44:27 PM): but it bugs me
skankininatuBa (10:44:28 PM): yeah you did
nixxi the posEur (10:44:29 PM): i said maybe
skankininatuBa (10:44:39 PM): maybe in girl talk means yes
nixxi the posEur (10:44:44 PM): it depends on the circumstances
skankininatuBa (10:45:04 PM): either way your definately leading nick on to make him think you like him
skankininatuBa (10:45:07 PM): i would think that to
nixxi the posEur (10:45:15 PM): steeeeve
skankininatuBa (10:45:20 PM): listen nicky im sorry
skankininatuBa (10:45:23 PM): please dont get mad at me
nixxi the posEur (10:45:29 PM): whaaat
skankininatuBa (10:45:50 PM): i dont want you getting all mad at me
nixxi the posEur (10:46:11 PM): well you really dont have to keep bringing it up
nixxi the posEur (10:46:39 PM): and you KNOW i like him, but its not alot and it doesnt matter
skankininatuBa (10:46:49 PM): but it bugs the hell out of me
nixxi the posEur (10:46:56 PM): then ignore it
skankininatuBa (10:46:57 PM): and it does matter to me
nixxi the posEur (10:46:58 PM): aahhhhh
nixxi the posEur (10:47:05 PM): well i cant do anything about it!
skankininatuBa (10:47:05 PM): i cant just ignore something like that nicky
skankininatuBa (10:47:16 PM): what if i liked tori?
skankininatuBa (10:47:30 PM): i mean really think about it
skankininatuBa (10:47:39 PM): and you knew tori liked me
nixxi the posEur (10:48:01 PM): i dont knowwww
skankininatuBa (10:48:27 PM): thats a crap answer nicky
skankininatuBa (10:48:31 PM): and i really dont know if i can do this
nixxi the posEur (10:48:31 PM): IM SORRY
nixxi the posEur (10:49:00 PM): its not like if i really liked nick he would actually want to go out again
nixxi the posEur (10:49:13 PM): personally, if i was him, id be pissed at me
skankininatuBa (10:49:16 PM): thats an assumption
skankininatuBa (10:49:19 PM): and he would want to
skankininatuBa (10:49:26 PM): and if you KNEW for sure he wanted to
skankininatuBa (10:49:31 PM): you wouldnt have a thing to do with me
skankininatuBa (10:49:34 PM): and that saddens me
nixxi the posEur (10:49:35 PM): YES I WOULD
skankininatuBa (10:49:44 PM): and thats the only reason that you like me instead of him
nixxi the posEur (10:49:46 PM): i like you alot steve
nixxi the posEur (10:49:47 PM): no it isnt
skankininatuBa (10:49:54 PM): im an easy target..but your not sure if nick likes you
skankininatuBa (10:50:00 PM): so your playing your cards straight
nixxi the posEur (10:50:02 PM): you are not an easy target
nixxi the posEur (10:50:04 PM): i am NOT
skankininatuBa (10:50:15 PM): while yet still keeping your options open
skankininatuBa (10:50:18 PM): not bad
skankininatuBa (10:50:35 PM): and thats exactly how things seem to me
nixxi the posEur (10:50:41 PM): GODDAMNIT STEVE
skankininatuBa (10:51:09 PM): seriously nicky if i cant at least talk to you about this stuff then whats the point of us having any kind of relationship?
skankininatuBa (10:51:20 PM): i mean I REALLY LIKE YOU!!
nixxi the posEur (10:51:21 PM): you can talk to me about itt
skankininatuBa (10:51:29 PM): and i dont want to loose you to nick
skankininatuBa (10:51:35 PM): and thats whats happening!
nixxi the posEur (10:51:42 PM): why do you think that
skankininatuBa (10:51:50 PM): because its soo fucking obvious
skankininatuBa (10:51:53 PM): i dont want to be a fool
skankininatuBa (10:52:09 PM): i just want you to do what you really want to do...please
nixxi the posEur (10:52:21 PM): alright fine
nixxi the posEur (10:52:24 PM): im going to tell you.
nixxi the posEur (10:52:52 PM): i REALLY like you ALOT and i like nick alot too but i am scared to tell you that because i know you are going to hate me
nixxi the posEur (10:53:03 PM): but im not trying to keep the cards open or whatever
nixxi the posEur (10:53:07 PM): i really am not
nixxi the posEur (10:53:13 PM): im trying SO HARD not to like him
skankininatuBa (10:53:14 PM): your fucked
nixxi the posEur (10:53:17 PM): because i dont want to lose you
skankininatuBa (10:53:18 PM): seriously
nixxi the posEur (10:53:20 PM): i know
nixxi the posEur (10:53:24 PM): thats why i didnt want to tell you
skankininatuBa (10:53:29 PM): bad idea..neither of us are gunna like you in the end
skankininatuBa (10:53:31 PM): and if i knew this 2 days ago i wouldnt have done what i did
skankininatuBa (10:53:39 PM): but you also lied to me
nixxi the posEur (10:53:42 PM): i know you are both gonna hate me
nixxi the posEur (10:53:43 PM): god
nixxi the posEur (10:53:47 PM): it SUCKS STEVE
nixxi the posEur (10:53:51 PM): i didnt mean to do it
skankininatuBa (10:54:03 PM): you need to decide
nixxi the posEur (10:54:14 PM): i like you steve
skankininatuBa (10:54:32 PM): meh..the only reason you really like me is for sexual purposes
nixxi the posEur (10:54:35 PM): NO
nixxi the posEur (10:54:37 PM): it is not
skankininatuBa (10:54:44 PM): it makes sense
skankininatuBa (10:55:11 PM): i really think thats why you like me
nixxi the posEur (10:55:18 PM): it isnt like that
nixxi the posEur (10:55:19 PM): i swear
skankininatuBa (10:55:24 PM): be honest dammit
nixxi the posEur (10:55:28 PM): I AM BEING HONEST
skankininatuBa (10:55:28 PM): you might as well be
nixxi the posEur (10:55:32 PM): BELIEVE ME DAMNIT
skankininatuBa (10:56:22 PM): like i said your gunna have to choose between us..and to be honest whichever it is...the loser will probably hate you
skankininatuBa (10:56:25 PM): at least for a while
nixxi the posEur (10:56:38 PM): i know its gonna end up with both of you hating me
skankininatuBa (10:56:45 PM): and if you dont choose between us..we will both hate you
nixxi the posEur (10:56:45 PM): so i dont even see why i should try
nixxi the posEur (10:57:12 PM): if i choose you, nick probably wont care THAT much, but you'll keep thinking i dont like you
skankininatuBa (10:57:22 PM): and yeah i know im the easy target..but i really think you like nick more
nixxi the posEur (10:57:25 PM): and if i choose him, i dont think he likes me, and then you would HATE me
skankininatuBa (10:57:29 PM): i wont hate you
nixxi the posEur (10:57:33 PM): YOU ARENT THE EASY TARGET
nixxi the posEur (10:57:36 PM): and i dont like him more
skankininatuBa (10:57:42 PM): and i know what your saying..thats why i am the easy way
skankininatuBa (10:57:45 PM): cause of what you just said
skankininatuBa (10:57:47 PM): i know that
nixxi the posEur (10:57:59 PM): no
skankininatuBa (10:57:59 PM): but i know you like him more dammit..so just admit to it and stop this whole charade
nixxi the posEur (10:58:02 PM): I DONT
skankininatuBa (10:58:16 PM): then which one of us do you like more?
nixxi the posEur (10:58:19 PM): YOU
nixxi the posEur (10:58:22 PM): why would i lie?
nixxi the posEur (10:58:26 PM): it doesnt matter anymore
skankininatuBa (10:58:28 PM): i dont believe it..
nixxi the posEur (10:58:31 PM): no matter what i do, you'll hate me
skankininatuBa (10:58:37 PM): it doesnt make sense to me
skankininatuBa (10:58:52 PM): i dont hate anyone..im steve
nixxi the posEur (10:58:57 PM): yeah whatever
skankininatuBa (10:59:03 PM): i wont hate you..
nixxi the posEur (10:59:05 PM): you wont want to talk to me anymore
nixxi the posEur (10:59:12 PM): it will be just like with jessie, you dont talk to her
skankininatuBa (10:59:23 PM): i dont talk to her cause she stalks me
skankininatuBa (10:59:27 PM): talk to my very good friend kim..
skankininatuBa (10:59:30 PM): you see me with her alot..
skankininatuBa (10:59:38 PM): i gave her a hug that one day after saying goodbye to you
skankininatuBa (10:59:43 PM): i went out with her for like 4 months
skankininatuBa (10:59:52 PM): and we remained good friends
skankininatuBa (11:00:00 PM): me and jessie just didnt have anything in common
skankininatuBa (11:00:02 PM): where me and you do
skankininatuBa (11:00:09 PM): so i would still be your friend
nixxi the posEur (11:00:23 PM): i dont know what to say though
nixxi the posEur (11:00:24 PM): argh
skankininatuBa (11:00:34 PM): im saying be honest with yourself
nixxi the posEur (11:00:43 PM): i am being honest
nixxi the posEur (11:00:49 PM): i like you more
nixxi the posEur (11:01:08 PM): only you're definetly an asshole on occasion
skankininatuBa (11:01:17 PM): exactly..
skankininatuBa (11:01:22 PM): and nick isnt
skankininatuBa (11:01:22 PM): so there is your answer
skankininatuBa (11:01:34 PM): im already soo fucked up with girl problems
skankininatuBa (11:01:58 PM): im like never gunna have another girlfriend after this whole ordeal
nixxi the posEur (11:02:13 PM): so i guess you dont like me anymore
skankininatuBa (11:02:19 PM): but every time i have been an "asshole" think about it
skankininatuBa (11:02:24 PM): its been about you liking nick
skankininatuBa (11:02:31 PM): so i dont see where im wrong
skankininatuBa (11:02:39 PM): or where im the asshole
skankininatuBa (11:03:01 PM): nicky..to be honest with you no matter what happens there will always be a soft spot in my heart for you
skankininatuBa (11:03:08 PM): im not a stupid kid nicky..
nixxi the posEur (11:03:21 PM): i know you arent
skankininatuBa (11:03:25 PM): i knew you like nick..what do you take me for?
skankininatuBa (11:03:47 PM): but then everytime you would explain it away and i would look like an asshole
skankininatuBa (11:03:52 PM): when in fact i was right
nixxi the posEur (11:04:06 PM): jldsfvbiuabfdgbafdhv
skankininatuBa (11:04:22 PM): what would you do nicky?
skankininatuBa (11:04:25 PM): if you were me right now?
nixxi the posEur (11:04:33 PM): i dont know
nixxi the posEur (11:04:40 PM): i really dont
nixxi the posEur (11:04:57 PM): i hate this so much
skankininatuBa (11:05:08 PM): being the nice guy that i am,..ill just let you think about it..and either way im here for you
skankininatuBa (11:05:15 PM): but you do have to decide
nixxi the posEur (11:05:27 PM): i know...
--------
nixxi the posEur (11:06:25 PM): so you think i fucked nick.
skankininatuBa (11:06:33 PM): i dont know
skankininatuBa (11:06:42 PM): i would like to know
nixxi the posEur (11:06:42 PM): i know thats what youre trying to say
nixxi the posEur (11:06:47 PM): i did NOT
skankininatuBa (11:06:49 PM): alright
nixxi the posEur (11:06:57 PM): all we did was kiss, one time.
skankininatuBa (11:06:57 PM): no im trying to ask why you dont like me
nixxi the posEur (11:07:09 PM): i DO like you
skankininatuBa (11:07:13 PM): i would think nick would tell me if you did
nixxi the posEur (11:07:15 PM): haven't i been saying that the whole time
nixxi the posEur (11:07:20 PM): why would he tell you?
nixxi the posEur (11:07:30 PM): i dont talk to him about it, i dont think he cares
skankininatuBa (11:09:18 PM): im a very forgiving person
skankininatuBa (11:09:30 PM): but you need to make up your mind nicky
skankininatuBa (11:09:36 PM): im afraid you may still be doing stuff with nick
nixxi the posEur (11:09:38 PM): i already told you
nixxi the posEur (11:09:39 PM): I AM NOT
nixxi the posEur (11:09:41 PM): ask him
skankininatuBa (11:09:53 PM): but there is no way of knowing
skankininatuBa (11:09:59 PM): what if you and nick were alone?
skankininatuBa (11:10:05 PM): what would happen?
nixxi the posEur (11:10:15 PM): probably nothing.
skankininatuBa (11:10:22 PM): but see there is the word probably
skankininatuBa (11:10:29 PM): if he came on to you...you wouldnt stop him
skankininatuBa (11:10:36 PM): and i...cant
skankininatuBa (11:10:44 PM): i cant deal with that
skankininatuBa (11:10:58 PM): having to constantly worry about you cheating on me with him
skankininatuBa (11:11:20 PM): do you not understand?
nixxi the posEur (11:11:28 PM): i do understand
nixxi the posEur (11:11:34 PM): but i wouldnt cheat on you
skankininatuBa (11:11:46 PM): i dunno about that either
---
skankininatuBa (11:13:28 PM): but what if i did this with one of these girls that talk to me and say im hot and stuff
skankininatuBa (11:13:36 PM): would you not consider that cheating
nixxi the posEur (11:13:39 PM): did what with them
nixxi the posEur (11:13:44 PM): what we did?
skankininatuBa (11:13:49 PM): yes
nixxi the posEur (11:14:07 PM): i probably would
skankininatuBa (11:14:12 PM): exactly.
skankininatuBa (11:14:29 PM): i mean nicky..i really am going the extra mile for you
skankininatuBa (11:14:39 PM): but there isnt that much more i can do
nixxi the posEur (11:15:03 PM): well i really dont know what i can say or do
nixxi the posEur (11:15:17 PM): i have already told you what i think and how i feel
nixxi the posEur (11:15:22 PM): but you dont seem to believe me
skankininatuBa (11:15:34 PM): why should i believe you?
skankininatuBa (11:15:41 PM): i mean to be perfectly honest..
skankininatuBa (11:16:01 PM): if you had this same conversation with nick he would have said something along the lines of "well fuck that"
skankininatuBa (11:16:01 PM): and wouldnt have talked to you about it
nixxi the posEur (11:16:24 PM): i know that
skankininatuBa (11:16:40 PM): so this better earn me some serious coolness points
nixxi the posEur (11:16:52 PM): yeah, maybe.
nixxi the posEur (11:16:56 PM): im going to bed now.
skankininatuBa (11:17:01 PM): wtf?
skankininatuBa (11:17:05 PM): are you sure about that?
nixxi the posEur (11:17:11 PM): why shouldnt i
skankininatuBa (11:17:11 PM): that could be a really bad decision
skankininatuBa (11:17:17 PM): cause im not done talking to you
nixxi the posEur (11:17:19 PM): im tired and i am confused
nixxi the posEur (11:17:23 PM): agh then fucking talk
skankininatuBa (11:17:36 PM): your pushing it
nixxi the posEur (11:17:45 PM): sorry mother
skankininatuBa (11:17:47 PM): and i really want coolness points for this..
skankininatuBa (11:17:49 PM): you know what
skankininatuBa (11:17:49 PM): whatever
skankininatuBa (11:17:51 PM): i was gunna give your a shot and stuff
skankininatuBa (11:17:58 PM): but if your gunna be like this..no
nixxi the posEur (11:18:01 PM): steve
nixxi the posEur (11:18:06 PM): im sorry
nixxi the posEur (11:18:13 PM): i didnt mean it im just tired
nixxi the posEur (11:18:16 PM): god
skankininatuBa (11:18:19 PM): alright
skankininatuBa (11:18:21 PM): listen nicky..
skankininatuBa (11:18:32 PM): regardless of what you do..i will ALWAYS be here for you
skankininatuBa (11:18:37 PM): you understand that?
skankininatuBa (11:18:39 PM): i care about you lots
nixxi the posEur (11:18:42 PM): yeah...
skankininatuBa (11:18:46 PM): alright..
skankininatuBa (11:18:49 PM): thats all i wanted to say
skankininatuBa (11:18:54 PM): other than that i dont know what to say..
skankininatuBa (11:19:04 PM): cause its out of my control
skankininatuBa (11:19:04 PM): its all up to you
skankininatuBa (11:19:09 PM): and what you want to do
skankininatuBa (11:19:30 PM): and one more thing
nixxi the posEur (11:19:33 PM): hmm
skankininatuBa (11:19:37 PM): please dont lie to me
nixxi the posEur (11:19:43 PM): i dont lie to you
skankininatuBa (11:19:45 PM): it really hurts my feelings
skankininatuBa (11:19:53 PM): more than you would know
nixxi the posEur (11:20:07 PM): well it hurts my feelings when you dont believe a goddamn thing i say
skankininatuBa (11:20:29 PM): you have lied to me soo much why should i believe you
skankininatuBa (11:20:32 PM): its hard to believe you nicky
skankininatuBa (11:20:35 PM): it really is
nixxi the posEur (11:20:40 PM): I HAVENT LIED TO YOU SO MUCH
skankininatuBa (11:20:46 PM): i honestly think your playing both sides
nixxi the posEur (11:20:50 PM): i am not
skankininatuBa (11:20:55 PM): you said you only liked nick a teensy weensy bit
skankininatuBa (11:21:03 PM): but your probably saying the same thing to him about me
nixxi the posEur (11:21:08 PM): i am not
nixxi the posEur (11:21:13 PM): i dont talk to him about you
skankininatuBa (11:21:45 PM): i mean i understand how you feel and stuff..
skankininatuBa (11:21:46 PM): but i honestly dont get it
skankininatuBa (11:21:56 PM): i mean you never really talk to nick in person or on the phone?
skankininatuBa (11:22:19 PM): unless you havent told me about it
skankininatuBa (11:22:37 PM): which wouldnt suprise me..but answer me truthfully
nixxi the posEur (11:23:20 PM): i dont talk to him, and i told you i l ike you more and i am pretty sure that i only like him temporarily and its so confusing to me
skankininatuBa (11:23:24 PM): ....
nixxi the posEur (11:23:41 PM): and i would tell you if i talked to him on thephone
skankininatuBa (11:24:03 PM): i dont get it..you never hang out with him..and when you do you guys never talk
nixxi the posEur (11:24:39 PM): yeah well i dont get it either
skankininatuBa (11:24:40 PM): and that leads me to believe its for more shallow reasons
skankininatuBa (11:24:40 PM): people can be anyone online
skankininatuBa (11:25:01 PM): i find myself to be different online
skankininatuBa (11:25:01 PM): usually more open
nixxi the posEur (11:25:26 PM): i told you i dont get it either
skankininatuBa (11:25:54 PM): but then i have my ultimate theory
skankininatuBa (11:26:02 PM): its the whole..you like him because he likes you
skankininatuBa (11:26:10 PM): and thats what this is..and im pretty sure
nixxi the posEur (11:26:22 PM): NO IT ISNT
nixxi the posEur (11:26:30 PM): i dont even think he likes me so why would it be like that
skankininatuBa (11:26:44 PM): i dunno..cause he did like you
skankininatuBa (11:26:50 PM): but then why did you want to break up with him
skankininatuBa (11:26:57 PM): if you still liked him
skankininatuBa (11:26:58 PM): this i dont get..
skankininatuBa (11:27:02 PM): please explain
nixxi the posEur (11:27:29 PM): i really dont know, steve. i really dont.
nixxi the posEur (11:27:42 PM): i broke up with him because i didnt like him very much anymore
nixxi the posEur (11:27:56 PM): but now i do like him but i think its gonna go away like it did last time
nixxi the posEur (11:27:58 PM): and aaaagh
skankininatuBa (11:28:11 PM): but what if it doesnt
skankininatuBa (11:28:19 PM): what if liking me goes away
nixxi the posEur (11:28:32 PM): then i don't know
skankininatuBa (11:28:35 PM): this is what i fear
nixxi the posEur (11:28:44 PM): i will be more confused than i am now
skankininatuBa (11:28:53 PM): think about how i feel
skankininatuBa (11:29:06 PM): nick is my one of my goddamn best friends
nixxi the posEur (11:29:13 PM): i know!
skankininatuBa (11:29:13 PM): i see him everyday
skankininatuBa (11:29:23 PM): i talk to him all the time
skankininatuBa (11:29:38 PM): how am i supposed to live knowing that you like him?
skankininatuBa (11:30:00 PM): everytime i look at him i will be reminded about how he is important in your life just as i am
skankininatuBa (11:30:04 PM): yet im not supposed to care
skankininatuBa (11:30:07 PM): or say anyhting
nixxi the posEur (11:30:15 PM): but you
skankininatuBa (11:30:21 PM): cause he doesnt know whats going on
nixxi the posEur (11:30:22 PM): are more important to me
skankininatuBa (11:30:24 PM): and i cant tell him
skankininatuBa (11:30:31 PM): or else he would hate you
skankininatuBa (11:30:39 PM): and i wouldnt do that to you
skankininatuBa (11:30:56 PM): i like you nicky..
skankininatuBa (11:31:03 PM): but i dont know how much more i can take..
skankininatuBa (11:31:05 PM): im trying
skankininatuBa (11:31:12 PM): please respect that
nixxi the posEur (11:31:24 PM): then just get rid of me, because theres nothing i know how to do!
nixxi the posEur (11:31:26 PM): i really like you
nixxi the posEur (11:31:40 PM): but if you cant take it then i dont want to hurt you anymore
nixxi the posEur (11:31:45 PM): even if it hurts me too
skankininatuBa (11:32:07 PM): but why give up when there still is hope?
nixxi the posEur (11:32:32 PM): i dont know
nixxi the posEur (11:32:37 PM): because i dont know what to do
nixxi the posEur (11:32:47 PM): and i dont know how to handle anything
skankininatuBa (11:33:29 PM): well nicky like i said everything is up to you now
nixxi the posEur (11:33:45 PM): goddamnit
nixxi the posEur (11:34:00 PM): i told you, i like you steve
nixxi the posEur (11:34:04 PM): i want you
skankininatuBa (11:34:12 PM): and you also told me that you like nick..and you want him too
nixxi the posEur (11:34:24 PM): i dont want to go out with him or anything
nixxi the posEur (11:34:31 PM): i really dont know
skankininatuBa (11:34:35 PM): you just wana fuck him?
nixxi the posEur (11:34:38 PM): NO STEVE
nixxi the posEur (11:34:40 PM): i DONT
skankininatuBa (11:34:47 PM): haha..sorry..had to have the sex thing
nixxi the posEur (11:34:54 PM): is that what you think though, really?
skankininatuBa (11:35:01 PM): its possible
nixxi the posEur (11:35:05 PM): ahhhhh
skankininatuBa (11:35:10 PM): and dammit nicky..you are really hot
skankininatuBa (11:35:23 PM): i mean think about this..
skankininatuBa (11:35:57 PM): i must really like you...cause i mean you know..or maybe you dont know..that i could pretty much have alot of girls..but no..i like you..and even after all this i still like you..and wanna be with you..and only you
nixxi the posEur (11:36:27 PM): and i want to be with you, but you dont believe me
skankininatuBa (11:36:32 PM): but not only me
nixxi the posEur (11:36:52 PM): can i please go to sleep steve
skankininatuBa (11:39:01 PM): thanks for waiting
nixxi the posEur (11:39:05 PM): yeah
skankininatuBa (11:39:09 PM): your the best
nixxi the posEur (11:39:22 PM): so anyway
nixxi the posEur (11:39:29 PM): can i please go to bed now
nixxi the posEur (11:39:35 PM): i need to sleep
skankininatuBa (11:39:40 PM): you really want to leave like this?
nixxi the posEur (11:39:41 PM): and think
nixxi the posEur (11:39:43 PM): NO
nixxi the posEur (11:39:44 PM): i dont
nixxi the posEur (11:39:53 PM): but the conversation is going in circles
skankininatuBa (11:39:58 PM): indeed it is
nixxi the posEur (11:40:02 PM): and i am falling asleep like mad
skankininatuBa (11:40:08 PM): alright sweetheart
skankininatuBa (11:40:18 PM): if you havent noticed ive gotten over the whole issue..
skankininatuBa (11:40:27 PM): that is if you like me more than nick
nixxi the posEur (11:40:32 PM): which i do
skankininatuBa (11:40:34 PM): but if you like him more just tell me
skankininatuBa (11:40:41 PM): and i guess i understand
skankininatuBa (11:40:57 PM): cause ive liked more than one person at a time
skankininatuBa (11:41:07 PM): so i really cant get mad at you for it
nixxi the posEur (11:41:11 PM): okay
skankininatuBa (11:41:14 PM): although you know i cant help but be jealous
nixxi the posEur (11:41:16 PM): thank you then
skankininatuBa (11:41:20 PM): but thats a guy thing
skankininatuBa (11:41:25 PM): im gunna be
skankininatuBa (11:41:27 PM): but o well
skankininatuBa (11:41:28 PM): ill live
nixxi the posEur (11:41:39 PM): see you tomorrow stevieness
skankininatuBa (11:41:42 PM): hopefully it will pass..if not then i know i have had fun with you
skankininatuBa (11:41:46 PM): cause your awesome
skankininatuBa (11:42:02 PM): im gunna miss you nicky
nixxi the posEur (11:42:07 PM): imma miss you too
nixxi the posEur (11:42:18 PM): goodnight
skankininatuBa (11:42:22 PM): goodnight

B-B-B-BIPOLAR!? BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

skankininatuBa: im the saddest ska kid ever

Auto response from skankininatuBa: chores

nixxi the posEur: why are you
skankininatuBa: cause i have soo many reasons to be sad
skankininatuBa: im really a bad person to like nicky
skankininatuBa: seriously.
skankininatuBa: i just wish i could be like happy and not annoying and stuff
skankininatuBa: but even like right this second i know im annoying you and making you like me less
nixxi the posEur: youre not annoting all the time
skankininatuBa: so i think i will just shit up and try and act happy
skankininatuBa: haha shut*
skankininatuBa: shitting up would be interesting to see
skankininatuBa: lol
skankininatuBa: haha
nixxi the posEur: yeah..
skankininatuBa: but seriously nicky..if you want to be my "girlfriend" tell me now
skankininatuBa: and if not alright then
nixxi the posEur: i do
skankininatuBa: we can be whatever you want to be
nixxi the posEur: jesus
skankininatuBa: then you HAVE to tell nick
skankininatuBa: you cant keep doing this
skankininatuBa: I cant keep doing this
nixxi the posEur: then YOu tell nick
skankininatuBa: nick is one of my best friends..do you seriously expect me to tell him this:
skankininatuBa: ?
skankininatuBa: it would be soooo much easier for you to tell him
nixxi the posEur: well i dont know how to an i am not going to
nixxi the posEur: hes not stupid, im sure he knows anyway
skankininatuBa: no...he is kinda slow
skankininatuBa: on some issues
skankininatuBa: i seriously dont think he has any idea
nixxi the posEur: well f;nvsadf;vbaegh;adfnb'[aothn
skankininatuBa: is he talking to you?
nixxi the posEur: inform him then
nixxi the posEur: yes
nixxi the posEur: a little
skankininatuBa: he isnt answering me
nixxi the posEur: we were talking about crayons.. hes not answering me now
nixxi the posEur: oh yeah he is
skankininatuBa: alright
skankininatuBa: hmm..
skankininatuBa: yeah..
skankininatuBa: skankininatuBa: do you still have feelings for nicky?
xkmartbluEsx: i still like her, yea
nixxi the posEur: wow
nixxi the posEur: that is surprising to me
skankininatuBa: now this is the part where steve says goodby3e
nixxi the posEur: WHY
skankininatuBa: cause now you know for sure he likes you
nixxi the posEur: so what
skankininatuBa: so goodbye nicky
nixxi the posEur: WHY
skankininatuBa: heh..you know why
nixxi the posEur: but i like you alot steve

Auto response from skankininatuBa: getting piss drunk..and then maybe passing out

nixxi the posEur: ugh
nixxi the posEur: fine then, fuck this.
skankininatuBa: WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY EXPECT ME TO DO?!
nixxi the posEur: I DONT KNOW
skankininatuBa: the kid still likes you nicky
nixxi the posEur: so WHAT
skankininatuBa: that changes everything
skankininatuBa: and you know it does
skankininatuBa: that means WE CAN NEVER go out for real
skankininatuBa: and that sucks
nixxi the posEur: sdjkfzhsvc zxcvhuireg
skankininatuBa: and your leading him on
skankininatuBa: no wonder he still likes you
nixxi the posEur: how am i
nixxi the posEur: i dont know
nixxi the posEur: what youre talking about
skankininatuBa: i dont blame him
skankininatuBa: and you like him too
skankininatuBa: leading on..- making him think you like him too
nixxi the posEur: i dont see how i am
nixxi the posEur: i really dont
skankininatuBa: its obvious
skankininatuBa: ,ldafjfl;jkdfglijdf
skankininatuBa: if i were a bystander..i would probably say you like nick more than me
nixxi the posEur: Why would you say that
skankininatuBa: im like never mentioned
skankininatuBa: you always talk about nick quote him and talk to him and stuff
nixxi the posEur: i always talk about you and talk to you
skankininatuBa: but nowhere public
skankininatuBa: like xanga and stuff
skankininatuBa: NEVER
nixxi the posEur: cause i dont want to lose nick as a friend
skankininatuBa: and you always sign his stuff more affectionately
nixxi the posEur: i dontt
skankininatuBa: but your loosing me completely
skankininatuBa: and i guess you dont realize it
nixxi the posEur: apparently not
skankininatuBa: i really can only take so much nicky
skankininatuBa: im sorry
skankininatuBa: i try
skankininatuBa: i try to be a good person..i really do..and everything inside of me that is good..is saying that me and you are wrong..
skankininatuBa: maybe not being together is wrong but hiding it is wrong
skankininatuBa: what you are doing to me and nick is soo wrong
nixxi the posEur: ITS NOT ENTIRELY ME
skankininatuBa: your trying sooo hard to keep him that you dont even notice me
nixxi the posEur: YOURE DOING IT TOO
skankininatuBa: i never said i wasnt
nixxi the posEur: just fucking tell him
nixxi the posEur: god
nixxi the posEur: stop trying to put all the blame on me
nixxi the posEur: and i do notice you
skankininatuBa: im not blaming you for anything
skankininatuBa: im saying you dont realize that if im gunna be with someone...i need to feel special to them
skankininatuBa: i feel just like anyone else to you
skankininatuBa: but you place nick higher than me
nixxi the posEur: i DO NOT
skankininatuBa: and yeah..it makes me sad
skankininatuBa: but what can you expect
Nicky at 5:36 PM

11.23.2003
Whee. Nicole, look what I found.

I knew a girl named Nikki
I guess you could say she was a sex friend
I met her in a hotel lobby
masturbating with a magazine
she said how'd u like 2 waste sometime
& I could not resist when I saw little
Nikki gind
she took me 2 her castle
and I just couldn't believe
my eyes
she had so many devicees
everything that money could buy
she said sign your name on the dotted
line
the lights went out
and Nikki started 2 grind
The castle started spinning
or maybe it was my brain
I can't tell you what she did 2 me
but my body will never be the same
Her lovin will kick your behind
she'll show you no mercy
but she'll sho'nuff sho'nuff sho a
low 2 grind
I woke up the next mourning
Nikki wasn't there
I looked all over
all I found was a phone number on the
stairs
it said thank u 4 a funky time
call me whenever u want
2 grind
come back Nikki come back
Your darling little prince
wanna grind,grind,grind.

Sometimes the world's a storm.
One day soon the storm will pass
& all will be bright and peaceful.
fearlessly bathe in the...
Purple Rain
~Prince

I think that you should aspire to that song.

*Lindsay*
Nicky at 6:25 PM

11.18.2003
Nicky died. It was really gross. Hes been really really sick for the longest time.. and he was just laying there for days not moving and he peed all over himself, and he was barely breathing. But then we were sitting with him for like an hour, trying to get him to drink, and he just died... it was really sad. He's only two years old. And so me and Allison and Plata went to Michaels and we bought a cross and a box for him... and I had to be the one to put him in it because Jean and Allison were too grossed out... and he was all stiff and it was really hard to get him into the box, and I finally dropped him in there and his head whacked the plastic and made this hollow noise.. it was really sad and gross. So we buried him in this gardeny thing.. and as we were saying our last respects this nasty secretion came dripping out of his mouth. I swear to god. I almost puked. But on a lighter note...

Nick called me today! And then, thank god, he asked if I wanted to break up with him. I said yeah... I was really glad he decided to call because I never would have... And I really didn't want to go out with him anymore. It's not that I don't like him, its just that i dont like him like THAT. I like him as a friend. But I do know someone I like as more than one! Heheh. But he has a girlfriend. That's okay though, I'll live! Steve came and sat with me and my Toridoll at lunch, he skipped that whole period with his friend Savanna who really looks familiar, though I can't place it. LATEST NEWS: SHES SARAH MUNDAY'S SISTER! THATS WHY! Okay. Now... I guess thats all.. Oh no it isnt. Psh, I should try harder not to lie.

So, on Friday morning we went to the airport to catch a flight to FL. We got there and then we went to the church on Saturday and they had a really beautiful funeral for my granddaddy. It was a nice day, too. They had lots of pictures of him, and then my cousin sang a song for him... It was great. I felt better after it, although I cried and so did my mom. But now I'm back... and nothing too exciting has happened besides the above mentioned. OH, but look at my SKIN! ISNT IT BEAUTIFUL!? My greatest love in the world, Lindsay, made it for me! AND JUST LOOK HOW GORGEOUS GWEN IS! Ahh, to die for. Right, so that's all for now. Hugs are fun! Yeeeeeeee!
Nicky at 8:04 PM

11.16.2003
WAHAHAHA! It's been forever since I've written in here, but here goes. Nick asked me out. He's the singer for KiTP... aaaaand he's super cool. But I don't talk to him that much. I don't know why. I was thinking about breaking up with him... But I don't want to until I'm sure its really what I want. We went and saw a movie with Kelly and he started frenching me... it was a little akward because Kelly was there... And also, we hadn't kissed before that. But it wasn't bad.. Anyways, I can't finish at the moment... I have to go see Nicky, he's dying. He's a cat.
Nicky at 12:58 PM

10.25.2003
Woo. Redying my hair coz I realised I missed alot of areas... Also I uhh dont remember what I was gonna write. But I saw Flub and Llama at the football game and I was like kdjfbyuvfbalhgt!!! YAAAAAAY!
Nicky at 11:47 PM

10.21.2003
Ah. Quite a bit to cover. So. Starting with today. I went to school... I had double third period... It was boring as hell, and so I just slept and listened to my CD player. But if I was sleeping, I guess I wasn't listening, but whatever. So...thats about all today. Some kids were sitting on our post at lunch so we were mad, and Mr Shirley was a faggot. As usual. Yesterday everyone was all freaking out at my hair and feeling it, and Matt Warner felt it and said it was all cool and bright colored, and I was excited because he's hot. Alot of hot guys like it :-D. I dyed it Raspberry Kamikaze on Sunday. And it was cool! It's like a violent shade of fuscia. Or however that's spelled. Fushia? Fuschia? Anyways. On Saturday, it was homecoming. I was pissed off at Kelly because she made dinner reservations at Kobe for FOUR THIRTY, and of course didn't tell me that. So I had made my appointment for like 5:00. And I had to miss dinner. They brought me my my food in a takeout box though, like that made it better. So in most of my pictures I'm eating with my hand because they didn't even steal me a friggin fork. I really don't think the restaraunt would have noticed :-(. After that we went to Nelson Park, which is basically a litttle spot of grass in the middle of an intersection. There aren't even swings there. What kind of park has no swings? We were too cold to be outside anymore, so we went over to Dunkin Donuts and I got an iced coffee. It was yummy and had alot of caffiene. Then we went to the dance. I wore a red dress that was long. And my hair was curly. I liked it and I had fun. I didn't slowdance with anyone but I had 300 cows worth of fun with my friends and also humping random people :-D. The kid me and Tori always see in the hall who has a cute face and an even cuter mouth was wearing a kilt with a matching tie! It was to die for :-P. Alot of guys who think they're pimps had on white suits. I met Slut's boyfriend, and he was fun with his nose ring. Slut said his girlfriend or whatever, the girl he came with, thought I was really hot. She's bisexual. I hope he was just saying that to make me freak out, because... It's disturbing. Really. How come all these ugly chicks have boyfriends, but I don't? I'm not ugly... And I don't think I have any major personality flaws... Oh well. It's okay. Uh... I don't think I have anything else to say really. I have to go now and start on my faggot World History homework. I have an ortho appointment tomorrow. That means I get to miss first period :-D :-D :-D :-D. But it also means I have to miss the half hour before class starts AND the vocab quiz in Spanish. So I should have my dad pick me up then I guess... No... Damnit. I hate missing quizzes because then I have to stay after school and that sucks. I guess I'll stay after tomorrow, and also I will have to miss my fun time :-(. What a disappointment. The end.

Lyrics for the day.

by now
i should have been somewhere
or gone to school, or fixed my hair
back down
tell it to someone else
who gives a shit and needs your help

cause i found
what i needed
and i don't need you to tell me how you feel
and if i fall
you are not the one that has to cope and deal

all my problems are for me

my god
look at his tattoos and those earrings
he could never get
a good job
go home and beat your kids
so they don't turn out as bad as me

cause i found
what i needed
and i don't need you to tell me how you feel
and if i fall
you are not the one that has to cope and deal

all my problems are for me
i don't need your eyes to see
i will be what i will be

stop coming around cause you bother me
stupid mutherf4cker pull your head out your ass and see
what don't you get, was i stuttering
i don't need to take your shit get away from me

Nicky at 4:10 PM

10.10.2003
OH. MY. GOD.
I gave Allison a notebook of mine so she could copy some World History homework. Later today I just realized that yesterday in Geometry, when I was extremely bored, I wrote to Tori a list of reasons to get Allison Knocked Off. I went over to her house SO FUCKING FAST to get that notebook. I was BOOKING. But I got it before she read it, THANK GOD. God must REALLY REALLY love me. I gotta start going to church more.
Nicky at 5:12 PM

10.09.2003
YO! I'm Alternative according to the "Are you Gothic, Trendy, or Alternative" test. So go download Alternative Baby by Reel Big Fish. Another test tells me I am a goth. Haha. Ignornant people. Yet another tells me I am sometimes labelled goth because ignorant people think wearing black makes you gothic. I laugh at the truth in that. If I was a goth, another test tells me, I would be a cyber/rave goth. Sounds fun! I get to dye my hair FUN COLORS after homecoming! WEEEE! It's gonna be fun ;-). Kelly's trying to hook me up with some kid called Nick who is Jamie's friend. :-|. I don't think he likes me very much because the first time I talked to him I asked if I could rape him, and molest his hair. Haha. It was fun for me, apparently not fun for him. Um... OH! Mr Mudd from ######## is my SIGNET teacher now! Isn't that f4cking fantastic!? He rules compared to the other teacher who I have suspicion for his sexual preference if that even made sense the way I worded it. :-P. I think the dress I'm going to end up buying is this one. Like it? I doooooo! Hopefully it isn't too underdressed, but Hey. OMG! I need to make a hair appointment or else find a fun way to do my hair. I don't want no friggin updo either, I'm going for a 50s theme on the whole hair makeup dress deal. Kelly's getting an updo and wearing this pink dress that I think is boring as f4ck but it's not ugly. If she likes it then it's allll good. Not sure what Linds is going to wear, but it doesn't matter because she's not coming to ours, shes dragging Michael to hers. On Tuesday I did fun hair, AKA dreadlock-resembling twisty things in my hair. It was excellent and I got lots of good feedback ;-). I was glad. Ummm.. Oh, I went to the mall with Kelly and Jamie last weekend and we went to Ikea and laid on all the beds. This guy comes over and him and his wife are all checking out the bed when he's like "Well at least we know it fits alot of people." I was about to say "Yeah, and it's great for orgies," but I figured he wouldn't appreciate my hilarity... Yeah... So it was all good. I think I'm gonna do fun hair again tomorrow and just keep it in for Saturday too. It takes like two hours. Crazy stuff. I am about to go find the Mighty Mighty Bosstones CD that I used to have somewhere that is actually my fajah's, I hear they're making a comeback. I like that song, Knock on Wood. Haha. I'm actually just waiting around and writing in here to waste time because I'm waiting for my dad and brother to leave for football practice so I can take a shower with no time limit and they won't be yelling for me to get out of the bathroom. Hold on while I go get the CD. DAMNIT! I LOST IT! OR SOMETHING! :runs to the bathroom, slams the door, and cries: Ahhhh! I loved that song and I used to always listen to it and now it's GONE forever!!! I wish I still had Kazaa. Then I could download them and not die! And I want to find new bands! AAAAH! I MISS KAZAAAAA! HOW COULD I EVER LIVE WITHOUT IT!?
Anyway. My shower will be soon so I'm off to combat the evil forces of darkness in my eternal quest for the meaning of life... Or look up lyrics even. NOT GAY PORN. As you may know, the codename for gay porn is lyrics. :-D Never make that mistake. Ever.

Nicky at 5:50 PM

10.04.2003
Okay, I won't go on about how I need to improve on my updating. Not much EXTREMELY exciting stuff happens to me, so meh. I'm going to start with the things freshest in my memory. Last night I slept over at Tori's house, and we watched the Core. Apparently it had crap special effects. I thought the stuff I saw was good, but in the end the people on earth survive. I wish there was a movie where they all died, the end. But no. Oh, I must share my dream with you. I was in an overlarge skating rink during a tornado and the tornado came inside and chased us around so I went out the emergency exit. i lived. Then I came back in when it had passed and I sat down with Lauren Riley and played with rubber pencils. Then Adam walks up to me and he has Leonard's hair and I'm like wow. So he sits next to me and I just randomly start kissing him, and I woke up like AAAAAH WHAT THE F4CK! It wasn't a bad dream necessarily, just odd. Then today Tori and I went to the Jubilee in Old Town, and we saw some kids we knew. Slut was there and he introduced me as his Slut from school. Hehe. Basically nothing TOO exciting. But tomorrow I might go to the Rennaisance Festival thing with Allison. It would be fun, right? I'm gonna go now, as I have nothing else to say for the most part. Leonard looks hot as ever ;).
DOWNLOAD TIME!:
-Romance by My Chemical Romance
-My Little Needle and Trouble Breathing by The Alkaline Trio
-Stash Up by OPM
Nicky at 5:45 PM

9.18.2003
I am sitting here with my window open and I am watching the Isabel! Kelly slept over last night and then we woke up and did some stuff and now I am sitting here. We have been waiting for the Isabel to come! ALAS! HURRICANE DAY FINALLY SHOWS ITSELF! It's not even all the way here and a tree has already fallen on a house *dances*! Weeeee! So this is a boring entry- WE DONT HAVE SCHOOL TODAY OR TOMORROW! It said: "School is closed Friday September 19th due to Hurricane Isabel!" And I said WHY DID THEY NAME IT ISABEL!? I HATE THAT NAME WITH A PASSION! So anyways, I found an excellent song by MCR (there are so many, eh?) It's very good. As it is by MCR. New list of DLs!

GET:
-Vampires will never hurt you - my chemical romance
-Heaven is a Halfpipe- OPM
-Faggot, Masterbates, Bitches, Backmask, and Pussy all night - MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE

WOO! Now I am going to go do my homework from yesterday and the day before. Oh yeah and I made adam mad at me :'( AND IT IS SAD! Oh well. He'll get over it :-D
THE END
Nicky at 5:55 PM

9.11.2003
AWW YEAH! IM HOT. SO HOT. DONT GET TOO CLOSE. YEAH.
Nicky at 4:03 PM

Weee. It's been almost two weeks of school. And it still sucks ass even if im almost used to it. And OMG OMG OMG There is the hottest guy, and I've been like, obsessing over his hair and stuff since the first day of school but it must've skipped my mind to write about it. Uhhh... So, his name is John *barf* and his hair was black but now its like the color red not the orange kind. And its almost like small liberty spikes and he is a sophomore. Hehehe. I think he knows i think he's a sexy bitch because he always stares at me wierd when i pass him in the hall. But his hair rocks and i really want to tell him that except he'll be like "oh fack thats the girl who told me my hair was cool now im gonna run away" whenever i see him.. So that would suck. And I found out that my rapist from Jeannie's bus last year goes to my school and I saw him today- he's in my lunch on Gold days! hahaha! *remembers*

I went to Jeannie's house like, last friday. I rode her bus, and there was this guy who was kinda cute, so we were talking and then he was like, playing with my bracelet and he put it on, and then I needed to get off the bus but i couldnt because he still had my stuff! so i was grabbing his hand and trying to get it off and he finally gave it to me and his mom (who is the bus driver) was like WHY WONT YOU LET HER OFF THE BUS and he was like SHES GRABBING ME MOM! I was like aaaaagh! And then the bus went passed us and i flicked him off and it passed us again and he was like HOW WHAT WHEN WHY WHERE or something!

Hahaha, oh man, good times. That was when the car did a donut around me, jeannie, and *sigh* evan and his sexxxy ass. So anyway. HAhaha. Tomorrow me and Kelly have chorus with Phleasha! So we decided to dress in all black and look all goth-poser like so that she might say something. At least we'll get some odd looks out of this. SO it's alllll good. Daaaamn, did i even write about Ozzfest? Yeah I did. So... What else... Uhhh, well.... Nothing eventful really has happened except we have a spanish oral presentation thingy tomorrow and I DONT WANT TO DO IT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!!!! Oh! On saturday everyone's going to this guy's house because three bands from our school are doing some kind of concert thing. So hopefully that will be entertaining. I need to figure out when the PMS football games are because I need to stalk Evan more, even if I don't like him. Because it's fun, and I have no life.Yeah that is basically it. So at OPHS's game last friday THSRB was there! (THSRB being The hot sexy red bitch, aka John.) Uh, I had to get rid of Kazaa. That sucks ass. Alot of it. Well I must be off and do my HW. Gah, I have shitloads of it and it smells like Creamora in here. (Creamora being the half and half substitute my mom uses in her coffee.)
Nicky at 3:55 PM

9.03.2003
AND THE VOTES ARE IN!!! Hahaha.



<< take the REAL punk/poseur quiz at poseur.org >>

OH MY GOSH! The hottie, AKA Zachary Q, is NOT ONLY in my spanish class but ALSO in GEOMETRY WITH ME! *cheers* AND He talked to me today! We talked about how much spanish sucks and why am i in this class when im the only freshman besides amy and it was fun and thank god his last name is near to mine so we sit near eachother and HE IS THE ONLY PERSON IN MY SPANISH CLASS WHO HAS TALKED TO ME YET!!!!
It's crazy.
Nicky at 10:26 PM

8.29.2003
Hmm... Adam went home now and then I didn't go over to Allison's house because she was mean to me but then I went more and stuff. But anyways, that was a long time ago. I dyed my hair darker and now its at a shade that I like, which is like a dark brown with the lighter ends. YEaaaHH. So anyways, I got my WT pictures back yet, and they kind of suck because I guess I had bad aim, but whatever. That's OK. At least I got them and I have Tori's Tyson ass picture. OMG THEY TOOK SOME PICTURES OUT! Like the ones of his FACE!? I was like omigod no you did not. But alas. They have. So anyways, I went to umm, Ozzfest with Kelly, and she passed out and it was scary, but I don't feel like typing it all out. We met these HOT HOT HOT guys there, and one of them had blue hair and let me feel his hair but he was nast-ay because he smoked. Eww. But the other guy who was 17, he was awesome. He did what he wanted too, so that ruled. He was running around and stuff, and he was trying to make me jump and stuff, but I didn't want to. It was pretty funny. He hugged us when he left, and you could SO tell that Garrett was jealous because he got no attention from Kelly or any other girls there as far as I knew. He deserved it, too. I mean, he deserved not getting attention. WEEEEE! So anyways, Yesterday I went to Kings Dominion with Kelly, Tori, and Mems- Kelly's mom drove us otherwise i SOOO wouldve invited you linds, dont yell at me! But you get to come with me next times we go. Yay! So we saw these hot guys, there were 2 of them, in a couple lines behind us and they were like following us around, so we threw chicken at them when they sat near us at lunch time, and it was fun! And they ate it! lmao. But then they didn't want to talk to us anymore so they ran away. But it was OK because we saw this one guy, he was in line in front of us in line for Flight Of Fear and he was cool! We hung out with him for the rest of the day which was about an hour and a half. So it was fun! And his mom thinks he is homosexual! HAHAHA! But she looked freaked out when he was sitting in between me and Kelly on the Scrambler. It was priceless! And his name was Wesley but Wes for short, and I told him it sucks that his name is Wes. So then we left. And it was lovely. So basically- OH! Allison and Brittany for some ghey ass fuckah reason, don't like me, and overnight they have decided that hate me! I was like OMG FINE! So now I'm not going to talk to them until its imparative that I do so. I have Linds, Tori, and Kelly, and Mems to tide me over! OMG! Who do they think they are!? Biznotches, ugh. So anyways, tomorrow I'm going school shopping I guess, and its gonna be funderful. Hehe. THATS ALL FOLKS! Oh yeah no it isnt. I got my schedule back and here it is- not like anyone reads my blog besides Lindsay!

SCHEDULE:
Spanish 3
Varsity Choir
HPE1
English Humanities
WH Humanities
Earth Science
Geometry.

I dont bother writing the room numbers, because they are in my AIM profile and I am one lazy kid. You can look. Since you know my screenname most likely. Or if you dont and you are a hot guy who wants to stalk little ol' me, my screenname is NiccaAndAHalf. Haha.
Nicky at 8:09 PM

8.08.2003
So here I am again, bored off my ass. For three days I have been having fun, and now I've been dumped off so that my friends can go on vacation and leave me here all weekend to rot. Yes, thank you Platapus and Allison. The fair does start today, so maybe I can go. I'll probably not go. I'm broke. It's tempting though, because it's right out my window. At night I can see the ferris wheel! I'm listening to my new favorite song, and you must download it.... Here's a list of what you can download if you are in need of a song. They're good, I promise.

-Headfirst for Halos- My Chemical Romance
-Early sunsets over monroeville- " "
-Hollywood and Vine- Matchbook Romance
-The quiet things that no one knows- Brand New
-Stacy's Mom- Fountains of Wayne
-Lover I don't have to love- Bright Eyes
-I like everything by Catch 22, theyre good.
-Ididoth- Group X
-Super Mario Twins- " "

Theyre good songs. You must get the videos for Stacy's Mom and Brand New's song. I saw them on MTV last night. Have you noticed that they always show the rap/hip-hop videos during the day and the good videos at night? Like at 3 in the morning? I have. Some guy gotta nose job or something, haha! Skydiving sounds fun. Yay. You know, my bruise is fading away. Allison's cousin is over at her house, and I would go play with him, but the thing is that I believe he:
1. Is scared of me
2. Thinks I'm a poseur.
So on second thought, I won't go over there. I left my teddy bear and my shoes. :(( So I'm gonna have to wait for like... Monday to go get them. Im going to ask Linds if she can come over today or if I can go over there. A Makeover Story is on, and I want to watch it, so I'm going now! I love you. Bye.
Nicky at 12:04 PM

8.02.2003
Ahem... I know I haven't written in a long time so quit raggin on me. It's in the middle of summer and I haven't been home much so here goes. I went to Florida with Lauren Riley the day after school let out. We stayed in the Hilton Disney World or something. We saw some country hillbillies, and they were insane and saw this bug, and they said I SEEN IT! I SEEN IT! It was quite the thing to see. We swam alot at night. And we rode the elevator. We even walked on the roof, but then this guy who was a security guard got pissed and made us leave. It was alot of fun. Then I came home for a week, did nothing good, and the next week I went back to Florida. I went to St. Augustine beach, and I got a very good tan on my back but no tan on the front. It was great fun. There were a bajillion hot guys around. Universal Studios is the best theme park, by the way. The next week, i went to my grandma's house in Georgia. I stayed there for about two weeks and i got a pretty good tan. There were alot of cute guys there. I went to Six Flags with my brother, his friend Josh, and some of my friends who live in GA. They are all very preppy, but I love them anyways! We had alot of fun there... Then I went swimming alot... and I went to WhiteWater with my uncle and his girlfriend. The first time there was this huge ass storm and this pinecone whacked me in the foot really hard. Then we decided to get rain checks and come back. When we came back we had alot of fun and rode almost everything. Uhhh... Then I came home. I did other stuff while I was down there, like seeing movies and stuff, but I dont want to explain it. I came home on Sunday, 3 days before Warped Tour. I went to Warped with Lindsay and Kelly. We saw The Used and AAR. And Mad Caddies, Simple Plan, The Atari's, and Starting Line. They were all AWESOME. I got my shirt signed by Nick and Tyson from the All American Rejects. I took a picture of Tyson's butt for Torian. Heh. I knew she would like it. While standing around in the Mad Caddies mosh pit, I was brutally attacked by a stranger and kicked in the shins. It was hard to walk the rest of the day. In the AAR mosh pit, there were so many people and the stage was so small, and you could see the steam heat rolling off of our mass of bodies. It was SO good. They played AWESOMELY. Not to mention, Nick looked hot. Heh. The Used was awesome too, and the only thing I wish differently was that they shouldve played Poetic Tragedy. It's my favorite. I wore my plaid skirt with a black shirt that said Dreamer on it, with my balls, some bracelets, and Lindsay's brother's shirt. I had on purple socks and my World Industries. Hmmm... I got alot of pictures and now i am waiting to have them developed. Yaaay. Can't wait. That night, Kelly and Linds slept over and we did nothing important. The next day I went over to Kelly's with Brittany and we dressed up slumberbuddy like a girl. He makes a pretty girl. This psycho was running rampant so we had to stay inside. The next day I did nothing, and the day after (today) I did yard work and painted my bathroom yellow. I'm not done yet. The End.
Nicky at 11:15 PM

6.17.2003
OMG I am getting really bad about this! So... What I remember of this past like, Half month, is that...
I went to Jeannie's house like, last friday. I rode her bus, and there was this guy who was kinda cute, so we were talking and then he was like, playing with my bracelet and he put it on, and then I needed to get off the bus but i couldnt because he still had my stuff! so i was grabbing his hand and trying to get it off and he finally gave it to me and his mom (who is the bus driver) was like WHY WONT YOU LET HER OFF THE BUS and he was like SHES GRABBING ME MOM! I was like aaaaagh! And then the bus went passed us and i flicked him off and it passed us again and he was like HOW WHAT WHEN WHY WHERE or something! I ALMOST DIED! So then Jean and me and this kid Adam were walking to our houses and i was like hey theres santa! and adam was like HEY THATS MY DAD! It was so funny. But dont worry it wasnt his dad. So then we get to her house and we decide to go out to the creek, so we're out there at this fort for a while and walking in the creek and stuff and we got alot of mosquito bites and found a turtle. But then we walked back and saw this dead umm.. lizardy thingy in her driveway. SO I, being smart, flip it over with this stick! AND THE TAIL CAME OFF!!!! It was so great. So then we go inside for a while, and we decide to call evan to make him come outside. we talked to him for like 34982634 years and then at 10 we decide lets go over to Evans since he wont come out because he's scared of being raped by mexicans or shot by black people. It was funny. And so we go over there and he decides to sneak up on us. AND HE WAS SO HOT!!! I almost died. So then, we were finally starting to talk and Jeanies mom calls like YOURE IN TROUBLE AND COME HOME NOW! so we did and it was sad and she took me home. but it was all good. we had lots of fun in our 6 hours. Allison and I went to Vans again but only for one session because they were having competition so there was too many people there. so we shopped for a long time. i slept over there and then i watched "IT" and we made lots of gay jokes about JUST DO IT and ewww we're watching a movie about IT! and other 2nd-3rd grade material. I went to Kennedi's party also. It was boring as anything so me jean and emily walked around trying to find out where my b*tch lives. And he was walking around his house in a TOWEL i swear, he says theyre shorts though. So OMG. We gave the Flub his thong, and he was like SO surprised! IT WAS SO CUTE! And he said he will wear it on the last day of school. He better. Joe's thong was cool! His MOM FOUND IT!!! I almost died. His mom goes: there is way too much sexual humor these days! it was great. Hmm... what else? I went camping a while ago, burnt some socks, got wet... i lost my cell phone! AGAAAAIN!!!! Ok but, tomorrow is the Formals and I got this Excellent dress thing to wear. Its a polka dot almost knee length skirt with a black shirt that goes over one shoulder and has buckles! its muy excellente! and i got like all these cool bracelets and stuff, and red lipstick. so its alllll good! OMG only 2 more days of school!! And then the next day I get to go to FLORIDAAAA!!! ITS GONNA BE F*CKING GREAT!!! So, hopefully i'll get a tan or something, at least a healthy bronzing. *snicker* So I guess thats all... I'm gonna be gone for a long time!!! OH! I GOT A 543 ON MY ALGEBRA SOL!!!! I WIN!
Nicky at 9:35 PM

6.01.2003
Woohoo. Its been a VERY LONG TIME since I last updated, so I figured, why not do it now while I can and nobody's home? So my party was really fun, and we ate alot of cake and stuff. So yeah, And i got some presents that i like. Hey damnit wait a minute. Ah ok. I had to go put my wet clothes in the drier. So yeah. So i wont be naked to day! I went to Vans yesterday and me an Ali stayed for like 2 sessions, which is 4 hours of skating fun! We saw some hot guys, and they talked to us and showed us how to do some things. *snicker* There was this little kid, and he did this huge jump, and we were like WOW and he goes, "What are you looking at, the air?"
I was like hahahaha! It was so cute! My freaking skates broke though! OMG! I was like nooooooo! Because what happened was, one of the clip things that holds them closed came like, off! I was like hey NOT COOL. So I'm sorry this was short but I think someones home now. BYEBYE! Post more later maybe.

Nicky at 10:42 AM

5.22.2003
I feel depressed so leave me alone. I dont want to go to Kickboxing. I want to sit at home on my bum(Modified by: Lindsay) and just hang around for once in a fuzz wacking (Modified by: Lindsay) lifetime. I am sick of being so busy. And everything bites the big one(Modified by:Lindsay).
Nicky at 6:53 PM

Ah... Haven't posted in forever I see. Well, some very important news. Let's start off at the beginning. Jeannie started liking Evan. At first I thought this wouldnt be a problem seeing as...well... not to be mean, but Jeannie isn't the brightest crayon in the box. So then I find out that they were all hanging out together last weekend. And THEN that he wrote her a note! AND NOW THEY SIT TOGETHER ON THE BUS AND SHE GOES TO HIS BUSSTOP IN THE MORNING!!! It makes me so upset. I mean, I did like him first, and it also sucks because no guys like me ever and Jean's all pretty, and so are all my other friends, and I don't know. Even my bitch likes Jeannie. Also, I am in the delimma of wether to go to the dance or not. It's only 8th grade, so that sucks. But alot of people are going. And If I go... I need a date. Not necessarily, but I'd like to. Ya know? Hmmm... If you know anyone don't hesitate to tell me. Hehe. So... I guess there's not much to say except my birthday party is in two days and I need to clean my house. I'm the only fucking person who cleans this hell hole. Gotta bounce. Heh.
Nicky at 6:39 PM

5.11.2003
Okay, now is the time I tell you about yesterday! Okay, so Kelly calls me up and blah blah blah thats all in the previous entry.... So then they come get me around 3. We go up to Nissan Pavillion and kinda hang around and stuff. Its raining and my hair gets all funky so we went into the bathrooms where they have sinks shaped like a half circle coming out of the wall and a huge metal tub thing. So theres this pedal to turn it on. And I was like Kelly... Should I put my head under it? So I did. Muahaha. Right. So when we leave the bathroom, guess who we see!? JOHNNIE. And he's with some girl that hes known since he was 2. and he made this huge deal about not hanging out with Kelly because he didnt like ME and I'm like OMG what the fuck is wrong with you?! Have I ever done anything to you!? NO. But he kept going on and on and on about it, and saying that he's heard from so many people that I have been saying shit about him! Whatever. I dont like him, I dont talk about him. There you go. So we saw Ashley Benson one time,and she was drunk as hell. She and her mom kept talking to me and Kelly and I was like umm.... No? And it was scary. So we walked around alot and then we found this guy named John whos in 9th grade at some young Marine school. He was really nice and he walked with us for a while. Then we sat down at this table and I look over and see Johnnie and that girl talking and we were trying to listen but we couldnt hear anything so when they left kelly yells BYE! And he turns around like HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SITTING THERE and we laughed. He was so guilty. haha. And he was like, drunk. Yes everyone was drunk. OK I'll write more later BYEBYE.
Nicky at 11:02 AM

5.10.2003
Ah, sigh. I am bored at home, in desperate need of physical activity. So I decide: Why not go outside and play a little basketball? I walk outside, pick up a ball, and WHADDYA KNOW. Rain starts pouring down on me and my freshly straightened hair. So now I think I will practice my guitar. I am supposed to be at this country concert, the WMZQfest, with Kelly, but her mom had to go help her cousin or something so they should be here around 230 or so. Thats not in too long. I was going to wear my hair curled but it was bothering me being all crusty from the gel so I straightened it you see. I wanna hang out with Jeannie. I wanted her to come over this weekend or me go over to her house but she got sick so we couldnt and plus her grades were bad, but then i find out shes over at allisons house! And it kind of pissed me off, you see. Lets put it this way: If you tried to make plans with someone who never really comes over because you havent hung out with them in a while and they go make plans with someone else, would you be happy? I think not. OMG wanna know what allison said to me?

Nicca and a half (5:59:26 PM): i gotta do chores so i can go ou tside
Evil Pumpkin53 (5:59:55 PM): NO I DONT WANT OYU TO COME OUTSIDE
Auto response from Nicca and a half (5:59:55 PM): EVAN IS MINE, you CANT have him Evil Pumpkin53!!!
Evil Pumpkin53 (6:00:03 PM): toooo late!
Nicca and a half (11:04:22 PM): i ate food
Evil Pumpkin53 (11:04:29 PM): congratulations
Evil Pumpkin53 (11:04:42 PM): first time ?
Nicca and a half (11:05:46 PM): no
Evil Pumpkin53 (11:06:11 PM): ok
Evil Pumpkin53 (11:06:15 PM): i could care less
Evil Pumpkin53 (11:06:46 PM): freedom center tomorrow for me and jeannie and liddy and caitie
Nicca and a half (11:07:00 PM): okay
Nicca and a half (11:07:33 PM): i get to go to a concert with kelly and look at them fine counrty boys in tight jeans
Nicca and a half (11:07:35 PM): who knows
Nicca and a half (11:07:44 PM): maybe well see jason baker
Nicca and a half (11:07:59 PM): *snicker*
Evil Pumpkin53 (11:08:03 PM): haha!
Evil Pumpkin53 (11:08:12 PM): contry is gay!
Evil Pumpkin53 (11:08:20 PM): country*
Nicca and a half (11:08:29 PM): oh wel
Nicca and a half (11:08:34 PM): its still gonna be fun
Evil Pumpkin53 (11:09:03 PM): ssssssuuuuuuurrrrrrrrreeeeeee
Nicca and a half (11:09:35 PM): well it is.
Evil Pumpkin53 (11:09:45 PM): ok then

Its so gay, I cant stand her. Shes so bratty and stupid when she doesnt get her way. She wanted me to come w/ her but I would much rather go somewhere with Kelly. And Kelly invited me first anyways. Allison got mad when I said I couldnt come. Braaaat.
Nicky at 2:16 PM

5.09.2003
OOOooh my god. I just read all the way back to the beginning right, and i realized I've had this blog almost a year! Isnt that great? I was a huge dork last year, omg.
AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! THE ANSWER TO MY DREAMS HAS COME!!!! GUESS WHAT I FOUND ON EBAY!!!!! IF YOU GUESSED THE MAGIC GROWING HAIR BARBIE YOU ARE WRONG!!!!! IT IS THE BIG DADDY SOUNDTRACK!!!! I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS MY WHOLE LIFE!!!!! I MUST HAVE IT!!!!
OH HI AGAIN. I BET YOURE WONDERING WHY I USE CAPS LOCK ALL THE TIME. WELL THE ANSWER IS BECAUSE, ITS FUN AND YOUR STUPID. BUT IM COOL AND SO IS BIG DADDY. SO I DONT KNOW BUT ANYWAYS. ONE TIME I SAW KYLE AT THE POoL. IN HIS BATHINGSUIT. AND I WAS WEARING A BATHINGSUIT ALSO. THAT IS NOT COOL. ITS EMBARASSING.
HEY! TODAY IS TODAY AND IT IS BORING AND SO ARE ALL THE OTHER DAYS. THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME ALIVE IS......THINKING ABOUT HOTTIES SUCH AS BEN AFFLECK AND KYLE AND BRIAN. OH YEAH AND HAVING FRIENDS OVER. I WANNA GO TO KINGS DOMINION ITS NOT FAIR!
JULIAN
O YEAH BTW THATS NOT MY REALLY REAL NAME. I JUST LIKE IT MORE SO I TOLD EVERYONE TO CALL ME IT.

See how gay I was? Homosexuals are gay haha.

Nicky at 5:53 PM

OMG allison thinks evan's hot! THAT BITCH! She cant have him. Not like he would ever like her, because shes too poser ish and preppy. So yeah. But HES SO HOT!!! I LOVE HIM!
Nicky at 5:20 PM

5.08.2003
OH MY GOD!!! EVAN THE EX-GREEN HAIRED HOTTIE DYED HIS HAIR LIKE THIS YELLOWISH BLOND COLOR!!! I LIKE IT!!! BUT I ALSO LIKED IT BEFORE!!! AND.... enough caps lock, eh. mmmk i was walking down the hall with Allison, and he was kinda in front of us right so Im like hey look its the green haired hottie and she goes, EVAN! and he turns around and i smacked her and THEN she goes EVAN NIKKI LOVES YOU!!! And I'm like aaaaaaaaaargh and i attacked her. brb gotta pee really bad... aaaalrighty then. So as i was saying, I was extremely embarassed. Today was bitch day at lunch! Ummm, not much new stuff except Jeannies sick and has strep so she was not at school and prolly wont come tomorrow either. Sadness! It means gay suckass boring alone lunches.
Nicky at 4:42 PM

5.06.2003
You don't have the answers but you're always blaming me!
It only lies in your behalf in animosity.
You decide it's up to you, make it what you'll be.
After all you seem to be it makes no sense to me.
Don't point your finger at me
It's all your odyssey.
It's such a foolish game so quick to point the blame
And now tables have turned.

That is an awesome song. THT by Sum41! You should download it. And also ummm Trendy, and I Hate You. They is both by Reel Big Fish! Wooohooo! Ummm, so I'm mad because
1. Evry1 B callin me a wigga up N herre
2. All these little 7th graders who ride my bus are asking Evan the green haired hottie if he likes me, but I know he doesnt, and they keep asking him, and I dont want them to and hes gonna hate me more if they keep on doing it and aaaaargh.
Speaking of the green haired hottie, Allison said theres this green haired guy who works at Vans! MEANING ONLY ONE THING.... I MUST GO THERE!!! Yes, so anyways. Haha. Last week the only things I said were: Penis, Ejaculation, Erection, Placenta, Gonorrhea, Genital Warts, Chlamydia, and.... EVANS A HOT SEXY BITCH. Haha. So yes. It was great fuuuuun. Hey hot damn is cool. i JUST REAL-[oops caps lock]-ized that it was so fucking cool haha linds i said the fuck word. i can say it aaaalll i want online because im not actually SAYING it its only typing! WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT!!!
Nicky at 5:43 PM

5.04.2003
Okay, this is an entry on the past week. Tuesday I went shopping and bought some new clothes, and no wait that was wednesday, but oh well. Wednesday was the prep rally and I had my cornrows in but i took them out that night. Chris was being hot at Sylvan. Thursday I didnt do much exciting stuff, but I did go to my brother's baseball game. It lasted way too long. Then on friday, Evan and Michael were walking together in the morning so Michael sees me and Linds and points to Evan because he knows i like him and he makes this wierd face. So, like, I laughed or whatever and i was like MUAHAHA EVANS SO HOT. And Lindsay was like ..... hehehehe. So THEN, I was walking SLOOOWLY to 5th period and alex came and put his arm around me and i was like AAH then i realised it was alex. Hes such a cutie. Then we had a lovely sub again for spanish, I LOVE SUBS, and we didnt do all our work. So at the end of the day I went to my locker and i was waiting for Torian ALL ALONE because I rode her bus home and she didnt get out of her class until late. So i waited by her locker for like 10 minutes, purposely, so if Evan passed me I would see him. AND i did see him. and he was hot. and then he told me he had a penis. and i was frightened. BUT HES HOT! Finally, torian came to her locker and we went towards her bus. on the way, GUESS WHO WE SAW! THATS RIGHT, EVAN! And he was being hot again. Wonder if its alot of work being hot? Umm... anyways, I guess I must be going now since I have run out of new information. I wanna go to Jeannies house on friday. I have not been there in like, a long time. since... november. hot damn. So then I guess this is byebye. I LOVE YOU!
Nicky at 5:52 PM

4.28.2003


HAHAHA! It's the shiznits.I saw evan on his bus today and he was hot. My dad's country ass cousin came over and made some racist comments, and then Kelly and I dressed as wiggers to piss him off. So that is why I have cornrows in now. Haha. I'm gonna try and wash my hair around the cornrows so i can keep them in until like, Wednesday. We have a prep rally then. OOOMG It was hilarious, on the bus CHarlotte Sullivans car was next to us so i scream out the window EVIL WHORE and she looks up and i ducked hahaha and Kaylyn was like OOOoh girl imma tell her it was you and i was like oh damnit hehehehe it was funny. WHY DOESNT ANYONE KNOW WHAT MMK MEANS!? ITS OK DAMNIT!!! Argh. Okay, so i am being forced to see Xmen2. Ah i dont wanna. So... not much else to say, except bye. So OH YEAH! DOWNLOAD HEADSTRONG BY TRAPT. ITS SO COOL.
Nicky at 4:30 PM

4.24.2003
jean was talking to EVAN the green haired hottie on her bus and she was like do you like nikki and he said kinda and then she asked would he ever go out w/ me and she said he kinda looked around on the floor for a minute and then was like.. no... and then when he got off the bus his friend told her he likes me!!!! MUAHAHAHA!!! I hope theyre not lying or something because i would be sad. but tomorrows the dance and i wonder if llamas going. sorry about my suck-ass grammar and punctuation or w/e but im in a hurry because i gotta lotta sh*t to do and i aint got time to "wase" as 50 cent would say muahaha! It's great right. naw anyways. So like, I went snowboarding and there was this really hot guy... well there were REALLY hot guys all over the place!!! So like, we were at Wendys and like this really hot guy was in the drive through and so i was like looking... staring at him and he looked at me straight in my eyes but like i didnt know until i stopped like, drooling (haha) and i was all embarassed b/c he caught me staring but AAAAAAH HE WAS SO HOT!!!!! So anyways umm i dont know. like, uhh... i went to take your kid to work day. and... i bought some axe, orion flavour because it reminds me of something. I dont know what but its good. so we were at allisons house on the trampoline becaise curry was mowing their lawn so we were staring at his hot body, and allisons mom says to me: "hes such a cutie isnt he? even cuter than last year if its possible" I WAS LIKE HAHAHAHAH!!! OMG HAHAHAH!!! Yeah so anyways, great times. and my sunburn/windburn is practically all gone yaaaay. I think i need a shower seeing as i smell like grass dogs sweat and way too much axe. BYE!!!
Nicky at 8:30 PM

4.23.2003
OMG I havent written in forever, so I guess I'll do a quick update and then go to bed. I'll lengthen it later.
-Went to CO, snowboarded, saw hotties, got sunburn AND f*cking windburn
-Jean said she heard from Evan's friend that he kinda liked me
-I dont remember but i had alot to say hehe.
WRITE MORE TOMORROW I SWEAR
love ya byebye
Nicky at 9:51 PM

4.13.2003
OH MY GOD EVAN IS SO HOT!!!! AAAAAH!!!! I dont know what made me remember but DAAAAAMN that boy is fine! Muahahahaha! And plus, I want his hat. So he's going to be my crush, since I have no other ones right now! Lalalala, It's 2 o clock in the morning. I should go to bed. I love Llama! I'm inviting him to my birthday! I wonder if I should invite Patrick? Well on Monday we're all supposed to go see some movie (us meaning: jean, liddy, patrick, leon or something, mary, and some other 6th graders, and me). YAAAAAY And then Tuesday I'm gonna go to Colorado for snowboarding!! Great fun. I wont be back till Saturday and JSYK I think Kylie and Plamen should go out. It's so obvious that theyre having an affair, they talk about eachother allllll the time and theyre going to KD together ooooh! well im tired so bye.
Nicky at 2:07 AM

4.05.2003
OH! AND I HAVE THIS SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD SO GO DOWNLOAD IT (POETIC TRAGEDY BY THE USED)
the cup is not half empty as pescimists say
as far as he's sees nothings left in the cup
a whole cup full of nothing for him to induldge
since the voice of ambition has long since been shut up

a singer, a writer, he's not dreaming now of going nowhere
he gave heed to nothing, and all that he was....
is just a tragedy

so he voyages in circles
succeeds getting nowhere
and submits to the substance
that first got him there

than in violent, frustration he cries out to God or just no one
is there a point to this madness and all that he was....
is just a tragedy

he feels alone
his heart in his hand
he's alone
he feels alone
I feel....

then on that last day he breaks
and he stood tall
and he yelled... and he takes his life

The bold is where he screams.... i LOVE LOVE LOVE that part.
Nicky at 10:07 PM

AAH!!! I need to start writing MORE! Anyways, today I went to KD and i didnt ridethatmany rides but it was still really fun because patrick and zach were there and i *heart* them! Especially Zach! AWWW! Him and his g/f were SO CUTE! I was like awwww! I carried him on my back for like 10 minutes and my arms were so SORE! Hes so cute awwww AnyWAys! there werelike no hotties. I was like WTF. We only rode a few rides: The shockwave, the hurler, the rebel yell (twice), and... something else... we got wet.. and those car things. it was great fun. parkside won 2 3rd places and 1 1stplace so it was all good but you know we shoulda won ALL of them!YAY! Dang i said zachs so cute awww like 856134785 times but its true! I love him to death in that friendly kind of way! So anyways im really tired and failing algebra. almost. So.. what can i tell you thats useful? *THINKS* its really hard to think when you are tired. i dont have anything to say really. lets see what went on this week? NOTHING. It was a boring ass week. aaah sOMETHING had to happen!!! BUT NO!!!! i stayed after w/ mr ott the serial killer thursday for my project! AAAH! EVERYONE ON THE DANCE TEAM.... NOT EVERYONe BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE WIGGERS!!! AAAAAH!!!*dies* well imma go. im bout to die of no sleeeeeeep!

Nicky at 10:02 PM

3.29.2003
It's been a week! I keep getting sidetracked and not writing in this thing. Not that anyone really cares about whats going on in my life. I went to bingo night at my school... some people I knew were there, and it was so freakin HOT in the cafeteria that we went out in the halls and roamed! Me and Kelly and Squashua and some of my brothers friends and Greg Bodmer and Aaron Money. Yeah... So it was kinda boringish, and Kyle was with "That Girl"!!! So anyways, I went to blockbuster and now we're watching Swimf@n! hehehe. I have already seen it. Kelly and Allison are spending the night! Yeah. Another useless piece of information from NIKKI! So anyways, Alex is annoying me! He sends all these freaking mixed signals, like he'll be walking with me and going to my locker and stuff, and then I went to get my books out of my locker and he was waiting there and then mr reed made him leave and then when we were both sick on the same day we talked on the phone for a LONG time, but anyways, he'll be walking with me and then he'll see Kasey or Nicole or something and just leave me. It makes me sad! He is SO cute though, I just cant help loving him to death! One thing I can always be sure of having is ZACH! OH MY GOD! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!! HES (like) MY LITTLE BROTHER AND I KNOW HE WILL NEVER LEAVE ME! MUAHAHAHAHA! So anyways... Ummm... Dont you kind of hate it when you are trying to not write stuff that you dont want people to know but like, you justcant help saying it because you have to tell someone!?!?! Like I dont want anyone to know about what I think about but like... It just comes out. so... yeah...
Nicky at 12:54 AM

3.22.2003
I LOVE ALEX! MUAHAHA! HES MINE MINE MINE!!! Today was National Kiss Day but I didnt get to give him a kiss because i didnt see him! *tear* Oh well. I went swimming today... But I really wanted to be at the dance! Its so sad! OMG alex was so mean to my darling little Llama! Awww poor thing! Alex said he was kidding... Who knows though.
Sweet Mushu Baby: i heard you were mean to my little zach....
Sweet Mushu Baby: whyyyy
Archerer28: WSAUP
Archerer28: HUH?
Archerer28: WHEN?
Sweet Mushu Baby: nuffins up
Archerer28: OH........
Sweet Mushu Baby: today
Archerer28: THAT
Sweet Mushu Baby: that was cruel!
Archerer28: I WAS J/K
Sweet Mushu Baby: its not nice to do that you know
Sweet Mushu Baby: he was all sad
Archerer28: BOO HOO
Archerer28: HE IS A PANZEE
Sweet Mushu Baby: be sympathetic
Sweet Mushu Baby: come on now
Archerer28: HE NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO TAKE A JOKE
Sweet Mushu Baby: maybe you should learn how to be nice to him
Sweet Mushu Baby: how is he a panzy
Archerer28: MAYBE NOT
Sweet Mushu Baby: dont act like that
Sweet Mushu Baby: change the subject
Archerer28: CAUSE HE ALWAYS GOES HOME WHEN WE MAKE JOKES
Archerer28: AND THEN HE TELLS U
Archerer28: OKIEDOKIE
Archerer28: IM BORED
Sweet Mushu Baby: :-(
Archerer28: YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN AT THE DANCE
Sweet Mushu Baby: i WANTED to go
Archerer28: WHATS WRONG
Sweet Mushu Baby: nothing nevermind
Sweet Mushu Baby: was it fun?
Archerer28: TELL ME!!
Sweet Mushu Baby: no
Archerer28: YEP
Sweet Mushu Baby: it was about zach
Sweet Mushu Baby: soforget it
Archerer28: YOU MEAN THE PANZEE
Archerer28: HES A PANZEE
Archerer28: P-A-N-Z-E-E
Archerer28: PANZEE!!
Sweet Mushu Baby: alex
Sweet Mushu Baby: stop
Archerer28: I
Archerer28: WAS
Archerer28: JUST
Archerer28: SAYING
Archerer28: HES
Sweet Mushu Baby: but it isnt funny
Archerer28: A
Sweet Mushu Baby: so please dont
Sweet Mushu Baby: HE iS NOT
Archerer28: PANZEE
Sweet Mushu Baby: maybe youre the panzy
Sweet Mushu Baby: have a heart
Archerer28: P-A-N-Z-E-E
Sweet Mushu Baby: oh the maturity
Archerer28: YOU LIKE HIM DONT YOU?
Sweet Mushu Baby: not like i like you
Archerer28: DONT DENY IT
Sweet Mushu Baby: but that could change if you dont shove it
Sweet Mushu Baby: im not denying it
Sweet Mushu Baby: hes awesome
Sweet Mushu Baby: but its not like i wanna make out with him or something
Archerer28: AN AWESOME PANZEE?
Sweet Mushu Baby: ALEX!
Sweet Mushu Baby: i would smack you if i could
Archerer28: NIKKI!
Sweet Mushu Baby: what
Archerer28: WOULD YOU REALLY?
Sweet Mushu Baby: yes
Archerer28: BRB
Archerer28: THATS NOT COOL
Sweet Mushu Baby: because youre being a dick
Sweet Mushu Baby: *waits*
Sweet Mushu Baby: you're just ignoring me
Archerer28: HOLA
Archerer28: WHAT?
Archerer28: WHY?
Archerer28: DO?
Sweet Mushu Baby: because youre pissed off
Sweet Mushu Baby: do what
Archerer28: YOU THINK THAT
Sweet Mushu Baby: because i dont know
Archerer28: RIGHT.......
Sweet Mushu Baby: just dont call zach a panzy at least not to me
Sweet Mushu Baby: k?
Archerer28: UMM..................
Sweet Mushu Baby: JUST SAY YES DAMNIT
Archerer28: UMM...........
Archerer28: I WOULD
Archerer28: BUT THAT WOULD BE LYING
Sweet Mushu Baby: fine
Sweet Mushu Baby: just try not to
Sweet Mushu Baby: *puppy dog eyes*
Archerer28: ILL TRY
Sweet Mushu Baby: good boy
Sweet Mushu Baby: SO ANYWAYS!
Sweet Mushu Baby: how was the dance
Archerer28: BUT I CANT GUARUNTEE THAT I WONT CALL THAT PANZEE A PANZEE
Archerer28: IT WAS OK
Sweet Mushu Baby: ALRIIIIIIIGHT
Sweet Mushu Baby: WHAT MUSIC DID THEY PLAY
Sweet Mushu Baby: CRAP MUSIC?
Sweet Mushu Baby: DRR OF COURSE
Archerer28: YEP
Sweet Mushu Baby: DID I NEED TO ASK? NO.
Archerer28: THAT FAGGOT DJ ONLY PLAYED 1 GREEN DAY SONG
Archerer28: IT MADE ME ANGRY
Sweet Mushu Baby: THEY NEED A BETTER DJ
Archerer28: HE SUCKS
Sweet Mushu Baby: THEY PLAY OLD CRAPPY MUSIC
Archerer28: GREEN DAY RULES
Archerer28: YEP
Sweet Mushu Baby: I DISAGREE
Sweet Mushu Baby: THEYRE GOOD BUT
Archerer28: YEPPEROONIES
Sweet Mushu Baby: I LOOOOOOOVE SUM41 MORE THAN ANYTHING
Archerer28: THE BEST
Archerer28: IS
Sweet Mushu Baby: NO
Archerer28: GREEN DAY
Sweet Mushu Baby: NOT GREENDAY
Sweet Mushu Baby: MY GUITAR TEACHER YELLED AT ME
Archerer28: WHY?
Sweet Mushu Baby: HE GOES "THIS REALLY BLOWS"
Archerer28: Y?
Sweet Mushu Baby: BECAUSE I DONT LIKE GREENDAY THAT MUCH AND HE WANTED TO TEACH ME THE SONGS
Archerer28: THATS BECAUSE GREEN DAY IS THE BEST
Archerer28: NO WONDER HE YELLED AT YOU
Sweet Mushu Baby: HEHE
Sweet Mushu Baby: IT WAS GREAT
Sweet Mushu Baby: HE GOES MAN THAT BLOWS
Archerer28: DONT LAUGH AT ME!!!!!
Archerer28: GAHH!!!
Sweet Mushu Baby: EH?
Sweet Mushu Baby: IM SO LOST
Archerer28: AHH!!
Archerer28: IM SIGNING OFF
Archerer28: GAHH!!
Sweet Mushu Baby: NOOOO
Sweet Mushu Baby: WHY
Sweet Mushu Baby: DONT LEAVE ME
Archerer28: BECAUSE YOU DONT LIKE GREEN DAY!!
Archerer28: I NEED SOME TIME TO GET OVER THIS!!
Archerer28: GOOD BYE!
Sweet Mushu Baby: *CRIES*
Sweet Mushu Baby: im so sorry!!!
Sweet Mushu Baby: noooo!
Sweet Mushu Baby: I CAN LEARN TO LOVE THEM!
Sweet Mushu Baby: I LOVE YOU ALEX!!
Sweet Mushu Baby: HEHEHE
Sweet Mushu Baby: AND I LOVE GREENDAY!
Archerer28: LEARN AFTER I SIGN OFF
Archerer28: STOP LYING
Archerer28: I HATE THAT!!
Archerer28: GAHH!!
Sweet Mushu Baby: waaaaaah!
Sweet Mushu Baby: NOOOOO DONT LEAVE ME
Archerer28: G-O-O-D B-Y-E
Archerer28: I MUST LEAVE YOU NOW
Sweet Mushu Baby: no! alex!
Sweet Mushu Baby: DONT GO!
Archerer28: GOOD BYE
Sweet Mushu Baby: no!
Archerer28: I MUST
Sweet Mushu Baby: NO NONO
Sweet Mushu Baby: YOU MUST NOT
Archerer28: DONT
Archerer28: FORGET
Archerer28: MEE!!
Sweet Mushu Baby: DONT LEAVE ME!
Archerer28: BLAARGH!!
Sweet Mushu Baby: DAAAAAAAARLING!
Archerer28: MURR
Archerer28 signed off at 11:53:47 PM.

I was like hey man you died! Hehe... I just talked to this girl called Jay and she's going to the SIGNET field trip too!! Isnt it great! She's rebecca's friend and she's snazzy to put it into Linds language... or KICKIN in Nikki speak. So anywho... I want the CKY cd because its great. Brandie has it.... SHES THE HUGEST DAMN POSER EVER!!! AAAAAAARGH! So anywho... Imma go now my keyboard is gay and i need sleeeeeeeeep.
Nicky at 1:10 AM

3.16.2003
Hello! It is Sunday. WAAAH! Tomorrow is Monday. That means I have seventh grade lunch! It's so unfair! Alex is being a piss head.
Sweet Mushu Baby: hola!
Archerer28: WHAT DO U WANT
Sweet Mushu Baby: that was uncalled for
Sweet Mushu Baby: you mean i cant just talk to you?
Archerer28: so was calling nicole a whore
Sweet Mushu Baby: well i dont like her
Sweet Mushu Baby: we have issues
Archerer28: YOU DIDNT NEED TO SAY THAT ABOUT HER
Sweet Mushu Baby: fine fine
Archerer28: FINE
Sweet Mushu Baby: what, you want me to lie and say i love her to death?
Archerer28: NO
Sweet Mushu Baby: well then.
Archerer28: JUST DONT BE RUDE
Sweet Mushu Baby: fine
Sweet Mushu Baby: so anyways
Sweet Mushu Baby: besides lecturing me, what are you up to
Archerer28: NOTHING
Sweet Mushu Baby: alright then
Sweet Mushu Baby: are you pissed off or something
Archerer28: YES
Sweet Mushu Baby: at me?
Sweet Mushu Baby: still?
Sweet Mushu Baby: um
Sweet Mushu Baby: stop being an idiot please
Archerer28: YOU SAID NICOLE WAS A WHORE
Sweet Mushu Baby: so what?
Sweet Mushu Baby: get over it
Archerer28: LOOK IN A MIRROR
Sweet Mushu Baby: im not a whore.
Archerer28: SURE YOUR NOT
Sweet Mushu Baby: im not.
Sweet Mushu Baby: how am i a whore?
Archerer28: SHUTUP WHORE
Sweet Mushu Baby: *rolls eyes*
SEE? Isnt he being mean to me? Yes, I think he is. I hate him forever. So anyways, yesterday I went cosmic bowling and i lost 3 times and won 1 time. We all one once. Excellent, no? So I dont really have anything to write. I guess I'll go shower.
Nicky at 6:29 PM

3.14.2003
Today is Friday. Today we had our wrestling party and it was fun! I was sitting with Alex, Jesse, Joe, and Greg and they were killing Alex's yearbook! It was funny! They were stabbing people they didnt like with this pencil. hehe. I played with everyones flab! Patricks is still better tho. I think Brittany has a crush on him! Heehee. I got switched to 7th grade lunch! ITS SOOO UNFAIR!!! Well it'll be okay though because at least I'll have Chris and Plata. And Rebecca and Jackie and Alex! Woohoo. But the thing is, It's for the rest of the year and that means NO LINDS! NO LAUREN! NO TORIAN! AAAAH!!! *cries in corner* So anyways... I think I need a beanie hat! I stole Evan's at the wrestling regionals and it looked excellent! I want one now. Hehe. I want it with stars or something. I need to go outside tomorrow and learn me some more skatin. I need to get better on my board, and i need to do more tricks on my blades. I want awesome skates like people at Vans have. Yeah, so since the snow has now melted I am able to do some outdoors things. I think i'm going cosmic bowling tomorrow night with kennedi isnt that awesome! I love cosmic bowling! Alright so now on to the Regionals bussiness... IT WAS HORRIBLE. I hate Matt more than you could know. I was trying to get away but he kept holding me there and everyone was like oh he had a boner. And UGH! I was hanging out with my friends and he comes over and lays on me! AND HE FOLLOWED ME TO THE BATHROOM! I will never talk to him again. EWw. I was trying to lay on Alex, and Matt was like Shes MINE! get off! I was like bullshit im not yours! But of course i was too nice to actually say that, so now i am hoping that he will read this and find out that I hate him and the whole time I was trying to get away from him. and Jason said he asked why matt was all over me, and he said he did that to every girl. Ewww... I can truly say i hate him. Matt, If you are reading this, I really hope you get a life and a girlfriend and learn how to slow down. good god. Well Lindsay seems to think she has found the male version of me. Nikki with a penis, tori said. Lmao. His name is I think either mark or anthony, i havent figured out yet. they call him both. well thats enough now!
Nicky at 7:20 PM